Creativity As Self Connection

'Twas many, many years ago.  Probably around 25.  I read an article that introduced the idea that around the time Einstein was creating and going public with his work, art was also moving away from something that the average person could wrap their head around (Cubism I believe).  (Welcome to my blog where I am visible with my embarrassing inability to properly cite my sources.  But these ideas strongly influenced the direction of my thought, so it's what's on offer....).  The insight that was illuminated for me was that, in the past generation, both science and art had become things that people felt totally disconnected from understanding, let alone influencing.  Advances in Science and Art became unapproachable for casual conversation, for everyday living, and I imagine it was disorienting, and hard to wrap your head around. 

By the time it got to my generation, it became rote, and Einstein and his contemporaries were cartoon characters within the Merry Melodies crew, and a sort of acceptance heavily flavoured with apathy had set in.  We don't understand it, it isn't my job, and all this is above and beyond me.  I don't go to lectures, knowledgeably engage in discussion, or attend to that section of the newspaper, unless I have energy and brain power to spare.  I, myself, have a degree in Theatre, and absolutely experience imposter syndrome when approaching these hallowed halls.

When I read this article talking about the rift between us regular people and the contemporary discussions of art and science the idea hit my heart sideways and I began mourning on that day.  I felt it was true - we had become disconnected from seeing ourselves as creatives (either in science or art) because normal, average common people such as myself, complete novice scientists and artists; we couldn't understand the current conversation and advances, and so we stopped seeing ourselves in that world of creativity, exploration, experimentation, but most importantly of being at effect in our evolving world.  The laws are too complicated.  An equation was arrived at - we are now at effect of things we don't understand.

And I fully get that!!  I have been presented with many different famous pieces of art from different 20th century movements (Expressionism, Cubism), felt something, and then read the artist or curator's interpretation and felt stupid, overwhelmed, cut-off from the conversation.  In a word - WRONG.   And I believe that is what the previous generation was educated under - the idea of The All Knowing Expert.

I have been told this very publicly twice - I remember both in high school and university, deciding to persist and present in discussion my interpretation of a piece of literature we were studying.  In both cases I was powerfully, emotionally, and begrudgingly told how wrong I was.  It was public, and, I think I was probably humiliated.  Pretty strong emotions.  But I didn't believe them.  Being a Theatre nerd from "that part of the campus", I knew the assignment of true professionals was to find their own interpretation of Shakespeare, and that is specifically how David Mamet writes - so that artists can take his work and create their own.  So, I didn't spend much time in English History after that.  Although I love literature.

So, in a word - no.  I am not buying it.

That is what I love about the generations after me - perhaps unaware, or at least more distanced from the landing of the disorienting equation of that era - that our world has an underlying law that we simply can't fully grasp.  The kids play and expand and frolic without being bound by that.  It's a good, solid, healthy energy.

And, this is one of my values and the context of Euda.  I strongly believe in making creativity approachable.  The easier the better.  Dare I say - fun even!  And this is a hill I am willing to die on.  But I strongly suspect no-one is asking me to, lol!

I have a personal tendency to make things hard; overthinking is my thing.  Every time I see my acupuncturist she asks to see my tongue.  Every time I ask her what my tongue is saying, she says "you're overthinking.  Try not to do that."  And we both laugh and laugh because not once has my tongue told her a different story!

And so this is my assigned practice.  Because I have felt the sharp contrast of belabouring something, and being inspired.  The difference between heavy, stuck, inertia, and the simple delight of placing a plant on a shelf in the sunlight.  Or cleaning a mirror so it sparklingly reflects my smile and my wonderful home.   Choosing a colour for your front door, placing a coffee table book.  These are creations.

This is what you will find at Euda by Jessie, in my work, being on my email list.  The lightest, easiest nudges toward light little splashes of creativity.  Fusing your drinking water with intention.  Opening your blinds.  Kitchen dance.  A hand massage mid day to refresh.  Connecting with your plants.  Wearing colour.  Not complicated. Not distant.

That's the idea.  Here's what creativity as self-connection has actually looked like for me, hands in the paint.

My Journey As A Visual Artist

Not a hyperbole to say, my own visual art attempts have been heartbreaking for me.  As a youth, I was surrounded by people who had a real skill, and could convey emotion and story with their fantastic, bright-like-candy art supplies.  I could sense they were in the zone, and I loved they had something tangible to look at when their work was done. As a dancer, my hands felt empty after a performance.

I tried, and was so crestfallen and heartbroken by my work, it was painful to return and try again.  I just kept, in my eyes, being an abject failure.  So, this one felt truly not for me.  Out of bounds.  Not mine.

But I will tell you; something in me is persistent!!  A few years back, I just simply craved, like thirst for water, to be able to work with colour.  Something in my psyche needed to have colour come from my hands.  And so I picked up some watercolour.  With this, I could start to see a line toward something interesting to look at, albeit abstract.  But I had some lovely wins, and even gifted a few pieces.  It was a bright day when my caring aunt created actual cards from my paintings and sent them to me.  I felt like a published artist!  What a rush!

Every now and then, probably years apart, I would get up the gumption and google "learning visual art".  Because of my inexperience, I didn't realize that I should've kept pushing past the visual realism that was on offer.

Recently, I found a little course called "The Simple Joy of Drawing".  Yes to that.  Lines.  Shapes. Simple composition.  Lots of "trees" and "clouds". But not for realism, my friends. For the feeling, thank you very much. I made advances and tried things I have never in my life. And people kinda know what they are!!!

And no, I haven't picked up my pen in months now.  Guilt tries to set in, but you know, it is too precious to me to allow that now.  I just politely bow out of that.  I believe in seasons.

What I have found is expansive, easy, and part of my life now.

And That Is The Point

I believe, deeply, that creation of any kind, is part of connecting to ourselves.  I guess that is the academic in me - that there has to be a why, a reason, an equation.  But really it is about us learning, growing, iterating, and expanding, and to claim that again; we are at cause in our lives, we are the ones driving and deciding.  Because when we are creating, we are deeply connected to those decisions, to our own preferences, voice, curiosity and experimentation. And so when we find ourselves at the effect of things outside our control, we have the experience of truly knowing what being at cause feels like, and how easy it is to access.  It's a kind of momentum, and somehow our own personal voice and preferences and knowing are woven in.

And, what I have found is the delight, joy, and ease of this approach frees up, and actually ignites energy for bigger jobs.  When you have made something beautiful, the inspiration to declutter and clean the space around it just naturally arrives.  Or the interest to take the next step is right there, urging me on.

So, what will it be for you today?  Make the bed?  Fluff the pillows?  Playlist?  Singing?  Make a single mark on a pad of paper?  Call a friend?  Charge your crystals in the Solstice sun?